How To Throw A Swinger Party

Swingers Guide - How To Throw A Swinger Party

swinger house party

By getting your personal swinger house party in the swing of things it may provide a more discreet and relaxing atmosphere for you personally, your lover along with a couple of other swinging couple buddies. If you want to invite new swinging friends, sites like SwingLifeStyle offer the ability for you to create swinger groups, and post swinger events such as parties in the swinger party section. By doing this, you will definitely increase your chances of having a huge party, should you desire to. Keep in mind to promote your party at least 30-45 days in advance, if you post a party a week before, you may find that not too many people will show up.

If you are a member of SwingLifeStyle and would like to ad a party click here: Ad Swinger Party” you can designate your local area and let people sign up. This will allow you to sign up for an event and invite as many people to your party as possible.

Swingers Guide - How To Throw A Swinger Party

swinger party girl

Organizing a swinger house party may seem quite simple, but plenty of things should be done ahead to ensure that the party goes well. Listed here are a couple of tips that you may want to consider before getting your party:

#1 First and foremost, make certain that your property is neat and clean.

#2 For those who have a spa, health spa or perhaps a pool and plan for doing things for the party, make certain it’s neat and fit to be used.

#3 Prepare a plan as to which rooms in the home should be used for social, private, and open areas.

#4 Prepare fresh clean sheets around the beds within the rooms which will be used for play.

Swingers Guide - How To Throw A Swinger Party

swinger house party

#5 If you are planning to supply toiletries for the guest, remember to have ample clean towels ready. If you don’t intend to, include in the invitation that the guest will be to bring their very own.

#6 For individuals who’re people who smoke, possess a designate area like the patio, garage, or specific room for smoking purpose only.

#7 If your guests arrive by driving, make certain you have ample car parking on their behalf.

#8 For those who have children, make sure they stay at a friends place or relative that evening.

#9 Should you own a pet place it in a unused room, garage, or outdoors within the garden. Be sure to provide it with water and food.

#10 To alleviate the tensions of the party guest why don’t you have some music ready. This could give a more relaxing and comfy atmosphere so everybody can merge.

Swingers Guide - How To Throw A Swinger Party

stripper pole

If you have at your disposal, an extra room, or a room with adequate spacing, you may want to consider a stripper pole. You can find one just about anywhere either at your favorite adult store or online. Make sure you secure it well and have fun, as this is a party opener, especially after your guests have had something to drink.

An excellent icebreaker for tension is swinger party games the entire group can participate in enjoy yourself. As far as decorations you may want to check out this blog “Swinger Party Ideas“. If you are interested in an interesting form of a humorous approach to movies, try What Swinger Movies To Watch

Swingers Guide - How To Throw A Swinger Party

finger food

It’s optional to supply some finger meals, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks for the guest. You may also request your all of your couple guest to BYOB their very own drink (bring your personal bottle) and/or take along a plate of finger food to talk about.

Lastly, remember protection, have extra condoms ready and round the oasis for individuals who’ve didn’t remember to create their very own.

Now all you need to do would be to decide a style, sent the invites and wait for a large evening.

OK last one, bear in mind that the party is suppose to become fun for you personally and partner too. So don’t overwork her in planning and end up forgetting to savor it too. For questions on about swinger parties in general please visit Swinger Party Questions and have fun folks!

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Swinger Party Questions

Some newbies have asked Mike Hatcher several questions about swinger parties, I have narrowed down the top questions and have addressed them for you I hope you enjoy.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Party Questions

swinger party

1. Who will get asked to a swinger party?

Invites to swinger parties at clubs or house parties usually extend to couples, unaccompanied women and may choose select unaccompanied males within the lifestyle.

Individuals who attend a swinger house party are by invitation only. The host themselves select who they would like to invite for their home for any house party.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Party Questions

mixed age swinger party

2. What individuals am I going to meet at swinger party?

Various swinger couples and singles all different background, race and religions will attend swinger party. Age groups will even vary from party to party. Most will vary from mid 20’s to mid 50’s.


3. What’s the different between swinger parties at clubs and individuals held in a house?

Listed here are the variations:

  • Swinger parties at clubs require members
  • For entry at club’s parties an entry fee is needed
  • Parties at clubs may either be on-premises (sexual activities are allowed around the     premises) or off-premises (sexual activities not allowed on premises).
  • You will find much more couples and single swingers decide from at club’s party
  • Swinger house parties are only able to be attending via invitation.
  • House parties tend to be more discreet and.
Swingers Guide - Swinger Party Questions

condoms and lube

4. Could it be hard for me and my partner to arrange a swinger house party?

It is not difficult to organize your own swinger house party. Please see next blog “How To Throw A Swinger Party” for information.

5. If my spouse and I are asked to swinger house party, should I take anything to the party?

Usually at a swinger house party you and your partner do not need to bring anything other then yourselves plus some toiletries for use on your use. Some hosts may request you to definitely BYOB (bring your personal bottle) of alcohol and drinks for your own personnel consumption along with a plate of finger food for everybody to talk about. When the host requires you to definitely bring anything it might be written around the invitation.


See Next Blog for: “How To Throw A Swinger Party

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Swingers Of Yesterday

Swing Offbeat - Swingers Of Yesterday

swinger magazine ad

For the people that are not aware of what swinging was like many years ago, let me say it was pretty hard to connect with someone.  For example, many years ago before the internet, swingers could only place ads in a swinger magazine or go to a swinger club.

As with today, some couples did not want to go to a swinger club and wanted to be discreet, this was the purpose behind the swinger magazines. These magazines were found at adult bookstores and a couple would purchase one and then place an ad. Some of these magazines were monthly distributions, so you can see it would take a while to get a response. Even though this was extremely time consuming, couples would wait patiently to either get a response or contact someone via phone (rotary phone) from a couple or single person they deemed appealing.

Back in the 70′s a couples form of pornographic entertainment was that of 8 track players and records of swingers in an orgy. Think I am joking? view some of the pictures in this blog. There was a time before VHS, and of course streaming and DVD, that porn was erotic in the form of listening. These 8 tracks were considered dirty and perverted, and some swingers would play these at their swinger parties.

Swing Offbeat - Swingers Of Yesterday

swingers from the 70's

Think for a moment……. with our current technology, smart phones allow you to access swinger websites on the fly.  Could you imagine waiting a month for an advertisement to come out? The advent of the internet has made it extremely easy and quick to find and hook up with someone. Since it has become so easy online, more and more people are becoming more picky in who they want to sleep with. Before the internet, sex was the appealing aspect of swinging and still is. However since times have changed it seems more and more couples are looking too critically at other peoples looks, personality and everything else. Although this is not a bad idea, it still is funny to me that people say “we can’t find anyone to connect with”, in this response I say, “do you think maybe your standards are to high”?

Swing Offbeat - Swingers Of Yesterday

yesterday swingers

Both the above aforementioned can make a great debate no matter what you agree with. My point is that although technology has made it easier to hook up with couples and we are becoming more picky. History has shown a steady increase of curiosity in the Lifestyle, magazines of yesteryear and current magazines have paved the way. These swinger magazines were mainly about advertisements, but a newer magazine called LifeStyle Magazine is chocked full of articles for people in the Lifestyle. Gone are the days of ads, but new swingers and veterans like to take this magazine with them on the road as it showcases club listings in the US.

I grew up in Seattle, great town and open to several sexual fetishes, including swinging. A popular read there was a swingers magazine called “For Play”. This magazine was popular at the local sex stores and also throughout place in Canada and generally the Pacific Northwest. This Glossy magazine of 104 pages showcased Swingers personal ads from all over Western Washington.

Swing Offbeat - Swingers Of Yesterday

for play

Also editors corner, swing news, NW swing clubs, humor, and personal ads from men, well-endowed men, photographers, transvestites/transsexuals, bondage, and models. A rich view of the Pacific Northwest Swinger’s scene. Astrology, Canada news, Oregon Glory Hole, Lubricants article, and more. Illustrated with nude b/w photographs. This magazine was a bit ahead of its time, as it showcased transsexuals in the early nineties.

If you lived in Ohio, swingers were very popular in the late 70′s and 80′s, a popular magazine was Ohio Connection. This Magazine of 104 pages, including covers showcased intriguing interviews with Dennis Gorges of Loving Couples about the practices of his group, including a description of their approach to birth control and VD. Plus personal ads, astrology, letters, club listings, etc. Illustrated with b/w nude photographs.

Swing Offbeat - Swingers Of Yesterday

ohio swingers


In closing, before you say, “you can’t find ANYONE online” remember this, there was a time when swingers could only find 1 couple per month, and then they may not like that particular couple either. Sleep comfortably knowing that sites like SwingLifeStyle have more members and it is simple to meet a couple that you would like to play with.

If you would like a swinger magazine and upset because almost all are out of print, no worries, LifeStyle Magazine is a free magazine and you can get your free copy mailed to you discreetly.


LifeStyle Magazine is the last of the best swinger magazines out there, and I would highly recommend picking one up, my motto is “If it’s free It’s for me!” Although it is a quarterly publication, it contains valuable information you don’t want to miss.


CLICK HERE for your free copy of LifeStyle Magazine —->

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Swinging And Non Monogamous LifeStyles

Swing Offbeat - Swinging And Non Monogamous LifeStyles

Wife Swapping

You say tomato, I say tomahto. When a person hears the word swinging, one thinks both partners are swapped either for soft swap or full swap (see swingers dictionary for soft swap and full swap) and that is the gist of the LifeStyle. Believe it or not as time progresses there are much more fetishes involved in a non monogamous relationship. For example the term cuckold has recently become popular and some couples on swinger websites are very much into and enjoy that type of lifestyle. Wife Swapping was a term used long ago but is making a come back even today to describe the Lifestyle.

Ever since swapping wives and husbands has been in the picture, girlfriend swapping has become a popular trend over these recent years too. This is because society’s view has changed. Girls do not need to remain a virgin until they are married and guys can have their choices too. Both parties feel that they have the option to experience life in a more sexual way. Therefore, attached couples are now opting for such lifestyle before they are married.

Swapping girlfriends is very much the same as swapping wives, and believe it or not Mike Hatcher was swapping his girlfriends when he was younger. One would be surprised what kind of activities are happening to people 18 years of age. But the difference being a girlfriend is not someone who you are legally responsible for. There is no such thing as a marriage contract between you and her. If things don’t work out between the two of you, you can leave and move on to the next one.That is one benefit and why so many women and men age 18 and up are extremely experimental with it.

Swing Offbeat - Swinging And Non Monogamous LifeStyles

camping sex

I remember one summer up camping, it was me and my buddy, his girlfriend and mine. I had a hot girlfriend and so did he. We were drinking, and we discussed switching girlfriends, my buddies girl was down for it but mine was hesitant. His girlfriend came over to me by the fire and dropped to her knees and went down like a pro, I mean this women gave Hoover and Dyson a run for their money, I felt like the life was sucked out of me. I maintained my erection, but noticed when my friend and my girlfriend watched me I got rock hard. She stopped and went back to her boyfriend and immediately my girlfriend took over and started going down on me, it was like a competition, it was great. We decided to all go to the tent.

Once inside, my girlfriend immediately mounted me and started to ride, my friends girlfriend tried to get him into it but he could not maintain an erection. I ended up doing my girlfriend and his. Later he revealed that he just could not get it up. Some men in the lifestyle have this issues, sometimes psychologically they become too excited that they can not get an erection.

Swing Offbeat - Swinging And Non Monogamous LifeStyles

wife watching husband

In the Lifestlye you may come across many different couples and individuals who enjoy different sexual pleasure. Some are women who enjoy watching their husbands have sex with another woman while they watch and or join. Some men enjoy watching their wives have sex with another man while they watch, hence the term cuckold (See cuckold blog) which again has become very popular over the past few years thanks to the internet. Entering swapping or swinging does not mean that couples don’t equally love, respect, understand and trust each other. Surely for two people to be together and in love, certain elements and agreement must be satisfied to allow for swapping to take place. It is this view that both are getting equivalent enjoyment of sex with different parties and that nobody has been mistreated or disrespected in any way.

Again, swapping a girlfriend or boyfriend with your mate is also a way to enjoy sex without jealousy because both couples have agreed upon such action. Many couples believe it not only creates a stronger bond between each other but also allows them to experience theirs.

Wife swapping has no set rules. It is entirely up to you and your partner to decide the boundaries and limitations. Being involved with swinging or wife swapping, couples need not to be married. They should at least have some history of being together and familiar with each others’ needs and emotions. Here are some general rules if you are considering entering into wife swapping:

  • Good Communication -
  • Confidence and Comfort -
  • Trust, Sensitivity and Respect -

The general rule of thumb is that wife swapping works best only when couples view swinging as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship, rather than to replace a fail one. Swinging is only a primarily social event.

For Everyone’s fetish involving threesomes or moresomes, there is always SwingLifeStyle the largest swingers dating site or swapping which ever term you prefer.

Swingers Website

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Celebrate Spring Break 2012 at Hedonism II

Join us on a spring break vacation to Hedonism II.   8 days 7 nights of non-stop action from April 21 – 28, 2012.  Hedonism’s very definition is the philosophy of pleasure, so book your room and air fare now to experience the kind of pleasure you can only find at Hedonism.  This is an ultra-super all inclusive event and prices include:

  • Rooms that feature air-conditioning, television w/ cable,
  • All meals & snacks with a variety of dining options and settings
  • Au natural/Clothing Beach located on Negril’s famous 7 mile beach
  • Unlimited premium brand cocktails/5 BarsCelebrate Spring Break 2012 in Hedonism
  • Unlimited water sports including windsurfing, water-skiing, sailing, snorkeling and scuba, glass bottom boat rides, all with instruction.
  • Cascading Plunge Pool and waterslide
  • 6 Tennis Courts – All lit for night play
  • Rock Climbing Wall
  • Fully equipped fitness center & aerobics
  • Gaming Lounge
  • Daily activities & live nightly entertainment and theme parities
  • Disco and Piano Bar, that stays open till you say when
  • Airport transfers, hotel taxes and gratuities

Learn More

Hedonism is known as the most notorious adult resort in the world.   It is located on the northern end of the island in Negril Beach, Jamaica and sits on 22 acres of hedonistic pleasures.  Known for its cult like following Hedonism is open to adults 18 years and older.  Cum for wild crazy fun each and every night:

  • Saturday, April 21st ~ “Nothing Butt Net Party”Celebrate Spring Break 2012 at Hedonism
  • Sunday, April 22nd ~ “School Reunion / Retro Party”
  • Monday, April 23rd ~ “Sports Jersey Night Party”
  • Tuesday, April 24th ~ “PJ Night Party”
  • Wednesday, April 25th ~ “Fetish Fantasy Party”
  • Thursday, April 26th ~ “All White Blacklight Party”
  • Friday, April 27th ~ “Beach Party” (weather permitting)
  • Saturday, April 28th ~ “Farewell Breakfast”

Learn More

Time is running out so Reserve your room today!  Or call 877-90-SWING/ 347-995-3884 for specific details.

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What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

For the many that have asked “what is a swinger cruise like”

Swingers Guide - What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

Coral Theater

I have comprised this blog to answer that very question. I am writing about a cruise coming up, well a couple of them but this one sticks out in my mind, the Jewel Of The Seas Swinger Cruise on January 28-Feb 2nd 2013. First off I would recommend everyone reading this entire blog because at the end I will give dates and links to book a swinger cruise for those interested. I could go into detail about the nudity and the sex you will have, but I have been asked by people “isn’t a swinger cruise dirty, as in not clean etc?” the answer is no, So instead of talking about the sex and debauchery, I will be going over what this ship offers in the way of amenities with pictures to show you how upscale this sexy ship is.

Swingers Guide - What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

Jewel Of The Seas Pit Stop Bar

There are themed nights, parties, and events, but what you need to understand is that when you board you will be given an itinerary of fun on board events. I am writing this post so people understand how big and how much fun a swinger cruise can be, while showcasing pictures of how nice they are.  On this ship, there is practically everything you could ask for in the way of fantasy, things to do or people to do.  Other sites only show pictures of naked couples, but where does that get you? Don’t you want to see what you are getting for your money?

For those that have attended regular cruises before, a swinger cruise is not much different in terms of what to expect. Sure there is clothing optional, but the amenities and entertainment are always part of the agenda. The price of a cruise includes your cabin, all of the shows, and use of all of the facilities; all meals and snacks all day and night. On larger ships, there are places where you can go to breakfast, lunch and dinner and midnight buffets and all of the food is free.

Swingers Guide - What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

jewel of the seas cinema

There is generally a room service menu that you can order from 24/7 and that food is free (you should tip the delivery person a couple dollars). But that does not include all drinks. The ships provide coffee, tea, milk, juices, and drinks like lemonade and punch for free. BUT, you must pay for soft drinks (usually about $1.50) and all alcoholic beverages including beer and wine.


Swingers Guide - What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

jewel of the seas

There are places on ships to play cards and board games, and the cards and games are provided. If you want to just sit and read, there’s a library where you can bring your books or select one from the shelf. Ships have internet cafes and some offer WIFI if you bring your prefer to use your computer in your cabin (some ships offer notebooks for rent).

Since swinger cruises are clothing optional, some may just want to grin and bare it, while others prefer to wear maybe shorts or bikini, around the ship until certain activities.

Some people worry about getting sea sick, but the ships being used these days have automated stabilizers which minimize the rocking. The larger ships cut through the water so easy that you don’t even feel like you are moving. When there is bad weather the cruise lines will steer around and away from it, sometimes changing the order of port stops. Also, the ships generally move overnight and dock in the mornings so you don’t feel much movement. Consequently, your chances of getting sea sick are minimal. There is generally less motion than on an airplane.

If you do get sick, all ships have a doctor and they will dispense sea sick medicines. If you are prone to motion sickness, just get pills or a patch from your own doctor before you go, or go to a boating store and get a sea sickness bracelet. My brother gets sea sick but has never become sick upon any cruise, however better be safe than sorry.

The dress on ship is casual all day or clothing optional depending on if it is a take over or not. So take swim wear, shorts, sandals, beach shoes, your snorkel equipment if you have it, sun glasses and sun screen, lotions, a cap or big hat for the sun, a book if you are a reader, your music player, sneakers and clothes to workout in if you like to use the gym, your camera, and other personal toiletries. After 6:00 PM they may request that you wear “sports casual” attire. That’s attire that you would expect a person to wear in a business office, shirt with a collar, slacks, skirt, blouse, etc. You can still wear shorts and swim wear in the pools and spas but not in public areas like dining rooms and restaurants, show rooms, bars, casino, etc. Most 7-day cruises have two formal nights when you can wear your best stuff and get pictures taken, and maybe meet the ship’s Captain. But this is mainly in the theater and places of the like, I mean you wouldn’t show up nude in a theater at home right? Same applies here. The formal nights are REQUESTED not required attire. But some people do dress up in a tux for men and a long dress (any color) for women. Some men just wear a suit and tie and some women wear a nice dress but not a gown. You will not be denied access to the dining room or anything else if you choose not to dress up. (we usually take off the formal stuff after dinner and pictures anyway). You should pack formal, informal and any toys you may want to have fun with on board the ship.

Swingers Guide - What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

Windjammer cafe

I have tried to put as many pics into this blog as possible, this particular ship in question is actually 10 decks high. There are so many pics and I have only included pictures from one deck.  Here is a little more about the ship itself. The Centrum, or atrium, begins on Deck 4 and rises to deck 12 at the Crown and Anchor Society lounge. Although not large, this welcoming lobby area has a very nice bar, an attractive, marble dance floor surrounded by comfortable chairs and sofas and a waterfall. With entertainment nightly, it proved to be quite popular on this sailing and it was often difficult to find a seat. A free-form sculpture suspended above the dance floor is a focal point of the Centrum. This eye-catching sculpture made of aluminum, crystal and stainless steel is entitled “Northern Lights” and is aptly named. A lighted stairway, leading to deck 5, separates the dance floor and bar from the Guest Relations.

Swingers Guide - What Is A Swinger Cruise Like? Jewel Of The Seas 2013

Tides Staircase dining room

Aft of the Centrum, on deck 4, is the main floor of the stately 2 story Tides Dining Room. Windows along both sides of the dining room, silk draped pillars, high ceilings, an expansive staircase and cascading waterfall all combine to make the area airy, yet elegant. Along the back wall of the dining room hangs a stunning 2 story mosaic of glass, brass and copper. Remember book this trip through swingship and SwingLifestlye will give you a FREE Lifetime membership.

Below Is The Jewel Of The Seas Itinerary for 2013

For a better view of the rooms and booking visit: Swingship

Monday, Jan 28
Tampa 4:00 pm
Tuesday, Jan 29
Wednesday, Jan 30
Grand Cayman 9:00 am 5:00 pm
Thursday, Jan 31
Playa del Carmen 7:00 am 9:00 pm
Friday, Feb 1
Saturday, Feb 2
Tampa 7:00 am


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Man Arrested After Butt Plug Rear Ending


Swinger News - Man Arrested After Butt Plug Rear Ending

fanny floss

I wish I made up this headline, well I kind of put my spin on it. I live in Florida and it keeps getting stranger here. A 41 year old male Rear ended another driver on Friday February 24th.  According to Huffington post, the rear ender Kevin Brann apparently had a butt plug or sexual anus plug in his rectum. Let me get this straight, Kevin was apparently wearing a butt plug?

Apparently Kevin failed a sobriety test and was arrested for a DUI. Police say that Brann was visibly drunk and wet himself on the way to jail. Apparently at drop off Brann had a butt plug or anus plug fall out or was removed and left in the squad car.

Now this is what you call having a bad day, I hope the officers weren’t to hard on this guy. This guy Brann apparently had a breathalyzer test that read.409 and .412 which I believe the legal limit is .08.

Kevin Brann is being held in Martin County Jail on $5,000 bond. I just hope the inmates aren’t too hard on him……..whoops I had to go there.


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Prehistoric Sex And Swingers

Swingers News - Prehistoric Sex And Swingers

chinese sex toy

Did you know that prehistoric sex involved swinging? Seriously, and I am not talking bout the primates swinging form tree to tree, I am talking about swapping, and exchanging. I did a lot of research and found out that aside form swinging the ancients used sex toys, and were in to bisexual activities.

Prehistoric man did not stop swinging. According to an article form Fox News, research into Stone Age humans has argued that, far from having intercourse simply to reproduce, they had sex for fun.

Swingers News - Prehistoric Sex And Swingers

taken from adult classics

Practices ranging from bondage to group sex, transvestism and the use of sex toys were widespread in primitive societies as a way of building up cultural ties. This is evident with the orgies in ancient Rome as well as modern day society behind closed doors is it not? A picture from danwei shows a bronze dildo. As regular Danwei readers will know, the government has been occupied of late with the Glorious Proletarian Struggle Against Online Pornography and alerting newspaper readers to the dangers of high-tech orifice peripherals. They seem, however, to have overlooked less futuristic modalities of self-comfort, as evinced by’s online exhibit of bronze phalluses, aptly enough entitled “Large-Scale Chinese Sex Culture. Interesting picture huh?

Swingers News - Prehistoric Sex And Swingers

caveman sex 3

Timothy Taylor, reader in archeology at Bradford University, reviewed evidence from dozens of archeological finds and scientific studies for his research.

“The widespread lay belief that sex in the past was predominantly heterosexual and reproductive can be challenged,” said Taylor.

He argues that monogamy only became established as hunter-gatherer societies took up agriculture and settled in houses, allowing the social roles of men and women to become more fixed.

Swingers News - Prehistoric Sex And Swingers

Caveman porn

Javier Angulo, the lead author of the study and the chair of the Department of Urology at Spain’s Hospital Universitario de Getafe, confirms that “modern primitives modified [their] genitals with the use of tattooing, perforations, and cuttings to change their appearances. So I wonder if they used a knife on their foreskin or what? Talk about a cut above the rest and not leaving you hanging by a thread lol.

Yes sex and swinging have been around for a Milena, but it is our society that suppresses knowledge like this form getting out. The good news is the interent is a wealth of information that we can share and share alike, lol get it share ? Hope you enjoyed this post.

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Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

Land O Lakes Hatcher

Is it just me or do I see a dirty side to food when I go to the grocery store? There is more pornographic material in your local grocery store than at a brothel in Bangkok. When I was younger I would make jokes about food and bring them to my high school and put them on my binder. I was kind of the class clown that got more ass than a toilet seat but that’s besides the point. I remember a joke that I would play and keep on my binder, I thanked Land O Lakes Butter, here is why.

If you look at the package, it seems innocent enough right? I mean a native American woman sitting on her knees holding butter right? Well if you take her knees and cut them out and paste them where the butter belongs you will get a woman holding her bare breasts. Ahh the good ole bad days.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take


Anyway like I said, when I go to the grocery store I get a good laugh, so I am walking down an aisle and low and behold I see Cock Soup. Now I don’t know about you but I always laugh when I see this in the store, especially when you see that the package reads Cock flavored soup………..mmmm makes me want to drink it right there.

So I’m on my way to the breakfast isle and I come across twinkies, now what is harmless about a twinkie? Well lets take a look at a twinkie what its shaped like and the fact it has crème filling. Interesting, this girl I dated back in the day was turned on by twinkie’s, now I know why.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take


Do you enjoy Spotted Dick? Well in England they enjoy this which is also called sponge pudding. See what our youth is exposed to? I honestly can’t tell you how many aisles I go down and there is something that pops out as perverted or sex related. Don’t believe me? Well, next time you go shopping take your time to really look and see what is going on down each and every aisle, and you never know something like a fetish. If you have a store that has ethnic you may come across Jussi Pussi.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

jussi pussi

Oh that’s not American and I would never see anything like that at my store. Well if you say that think again. Lets say you happen to walk donw the potato chip aisle right, nothing harmful here right? Wrong, the first thing I see is Lays, see what I mean, sex is everywhere, maybe this is why America is obese, because we are tempted to go to the store and get turned on.

Now back to the twinkie or should I say dessert aisle, upon closer inspection I see a snowball. Hopefully everyone out there knows what the term snowball means as far as sex is concerned and once again you will see what I mean about the filth and pornography at every grocery store nationwide. I mean you need an age restriction to discuss these things online, but here they are in plain view for all to read.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

wiener wrap

I even went through the bakery aisle thinking I was safe,I mean bread and baked goods seemed harmeless right? Wrong, once again I was turned on to more filth by my favorite bakery advertising weiner wraps. Then I go over to the breads for a whole grain. At this point I am thinking bread is not harmful so I escaped the clutches of the porno grocery store. I see the usual, a bakery, a girl wearing a white bakers hat, nothing unusual here. I’m am thinking i want something healthy, like a multiple grain, or better yet maybe something with protein in it, yes some breads have protein. Well I  found it all right in, found it in a bad way.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

semen bread


What do I see? Semen flavored bread, sounds great, might be hard to swallow but I mean come on? I couldn’t believe it, but hey I need my protein and I needed my grains so I tossed it in my shopping cart. Hopefully its not too salty, maybe low in sodium but the Semen bread may have a buttery consistency as advertised. Since 1908, sounds like some pretty old but established semen.

So I start to head to the exit and think oh I need some tortillas and some hot sauce this should be a non sexual experience, until I come to the sauce. Hmm I see Jerk sauce being sold on the shelf, and right now you are thinking the same thing I am, Jerk sauce how original, no need going down the bath section for my ky-jelly I can get it right here in the salsa location.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

jerk sauce

I am finished buying the things I need, and think I am safe because I am finished with my shopping needs. I take a slow stroll up to the check out thinking I was safe. The line is long so I am patiently waiting, I was getting closer and closer to the register and there are those candies and stuff they sell close to the register when you check out.

I thought to myself, well I will see what they have to offer,  once again I was caught off guard with “Finger Marie” the snack that keeps on giving.

Swinging Humor - Sex Food Names: A Swingers Take

finger marie

I thought I could escape this porno of a grocery store with no other thoughts of sex and food but no, not a chance. Like I said a trip to the grocery store is always an adventure, and I see so much porn you don’t even need to watch one once you are through. Remember this each time you go to the store, keep a watchful eye, and see how our foods seem like they are trying to sell something else.


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Sex And Technology

Swing Offbeat - Sex And Technology


I gave a lot of thought into this post, and searched around for information on “Sex And Technology” in general. In the last 10 or more years, technology such as the internet has increased awareness on such lifestyle’s such as swingers, BDSM, cuckold lifestyle as well as gay and lesbian and of course a multitude of other fetishists that are probably too long to list. For every person out there that enjoys a certain type of food, that particular person more than likely enjoys sex a certain way or has a different fantasy toward sex. Why is this? Because everyone is different and has different views and personalities and upbringings.

Before the advent of the internet, swingers would place ads in swinger magazines to hook up and swap with one another. After the magazines some clubs started to sprout across America. What was once taboo for a man to be with a man or a woman to be with a woman, slowly became more acceptable with the awareness of peoples differences through technology such as , the newspaper, magazines, the phone as well as the television and of course the internet.

Swing Offbeat - Sex And Technology

sex keyboard

Television during the 80′s and 90′s day time shows as well as cable, really started to accept different lifestyle’s in the mainstream. Although there were other instances I have found in the 60′s I am discussing the main catapult toward lifestyle and recent influences.

We all remember the dial up days of the internet, something that the Generation X crowd remembers and helped start the internet revolution. Since then, internet speed has increased offering people a quicker way to surf more sites faster. Because of the internet swingers have become more readily acceptable and more and more people are joining SwingLifeStyle as a result, yes it is a swingers dating website for those who are not a member.

Swing Offbeat - Sex And Technology

smart phones

Recent statistics show that a high percentage of young adults have posted nudes online. The whole idea of this is convenience, If you offer it, someone will use it. I can’t remember the exact percentage I think it was like 24% of high school teens posted and or sent nudes through technology devices such as smart phones and or the internet.

The more technology advances the more information is available to people. Take porn for example there are so many ways to view it such as smart phones and a computer. Some people go so far as to brag about it as you see in this video below. I hope my readers have enjoyed this post. Take care guys and gals.

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Newlywed Swingers Or A Swingers Wedding?

Swing Offbeat - Newlywed Swingers Or A Swingers Wedding?

nude wedding

Some swingers have been in the lifestyle many years, some have only just begun to experience what the lifestyle is about. Recently I have received some emails asking me if people need to be married to be called swingers. This answer is a definite no, some people are life partners, some are boyfriend and girlfriend and some are just engaged. In the lifestyle you will come across several different types of people with several different types of relationships. Although swingers are usually thought of as swapping partners, there is so much more in between, like fetishes such as BDSM etc., but that is a whole different blog in itself. Let me just stick to the email questions.

One couple writes in that they are swingers and they needed ideas for a wedding, and asked If they thought they should have their swinger friends attend. This is a good question, and I say, why not have them attend? It’s not like they are going to go spike the punch with viagra so every one is hard on each other.

Swing Offbeat - Newlywed Swingers Or A Swingers Wedding?

nude wedding

Swingers are people too, and I would say yes invited them, if your other friends and family are not aware of your lifestyle, simply tell your swinging friends not to say anything and I am sure they would respect your wishes.

Another question that a couple wrote in was, “should we have a swap or gang bang at our wedding?”
Well, if you are asking should you, then you have obviously thought about doing something kinky for your wedding. I do know of some cases where swingers have had 2 different weddings, one for their family, and one for their swinging friends. Neither of these are wrong, after all the lifestyle is about tolerance, and not judging others. If you want to do something at your wedding, it is your day and no one should tell you how to plan it out. The ultimate decision is yours and yours alone. I do know of some nudists that have totally nude weddings, and they can be fun.

Swing Offbeat - Newlywed Swingers Or A Swingers Wedding?

Swinger Wedding

I also got this question, “where can I have a swinger wedding?” This is a good question, and since i live in Florida and have access to several travel companies I know of one off the top of my head called Topless Travel. This company specializes in swinger travel, and I do know they can book trips to Hedonism II. I believe this place still offers complimentary weddings if you book like a 3 night stay, don’t quote me on that but I do know they were doing that.

Weddings at Hedo are open for all to watch, whether naked or clothed. The bridal party and minister is always dressed at Hedonism II (once a year nude weddings are hosted at Hedonism III — usually around February 14). Guests don’t have to be dressed on the nude beach but some ornament themselves to be festive.

Ceremonies are short and a small reception is held in the piano bar game room. The resort supplies champagne and cake. Weddings are no longer free, but they are still reasonable and the resort staff goes out of their way to ensure the day is special.

In my opinion I would just have a normal wedding and spend some time with the one I love as my partner and soul mate, and have fun with that person that night. But, like I said i am not one to judge, and this is your life, don’t let anyone sway what you want to do, just because it is not everyone’s cup of tea, does not mean it shouldn’t be yours.

With That note, I hope you enjoy this newlywed video I found. That guy kinda looks like Mike Hatcher…..or does he?

Skittles – Newlyweds – Dir. Cousins [Not… by sharetherainbows

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New Issue Swinger Magazine

Swinger News - New Issue Swinger Magazine

LifeStyle Magazine

It has been a while since I was able to write a blog, been super busy. Nonetheless I got my new issue of LifeStyle Magazine and have read through it. It is a great issue, probably my favorite so far. It has a great lifestyle interview with Rick and Vicki, a couple that have been in the lifestyle for about 6 years.

Probably my most favorite article is Chinese herbs for better sex. I found this interesting because good ole Mike Hatcher is a healthy guy. I have quite the knowledge on Chinese herbs so this one intrigued me. When It comes to penis pills If I had to choose between natural and pharmaceutics, I would go for natural. So many companies have been sending me penis pills to try out and review so I may just have to review them and try them. Hopefully they are not too hard on me lol.

What I also enjoy about the magazine, is that it is swinger related material and goes over articles like swinging and healthy swinging. I particularly liked this article because it discusses more swingers becoming healthy in the lifestyle. After all we are not Ken and Barbie’s in the Swinglifestyle, but we can get great bodies if we want. I gotta admit my appetite varies, sometimes I am in the mood for a skinny natural woman, but then again I get in the mood for a BBW, yeah Mike enjoys all women. As a matter of fact I may just write an article on different types of women to swing with, in my opinion there is no female that I wouldn’t swing with, I just want them to be human.

Swinger News - New Issue Swinger Magazine

Swinger Wife

One thing I love about this FREE magazine, is that in the back of the magazine it lists Swinger Clubs by state. Although I work online in the internet, I prefer books and magazine always. Having this magazine on hand with the Swinger Clubs nationwide is worth its weight in gold. Did I mention its FREE ?? Sign up for your free copy as next Issue goes over the history of swinging. Trust me, the history goes back nearly 100 million years, and follows up swinging up until the present. A VERY interesting article.

Get your free copy mailed to you here: LifeStyle Magazine


Read the Magazine FREE ONLINE HERE: LifeStyle Magazine ONLINE

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Swingers View On Condoms In The Porn Industry

Yesterday a Los Angeles city council voted 9 to 1 to enforce condoms to be worn during porn shoots. Although this measure is enforced in Los Angeles, it does not pertain to other studios outside of the city.

Swinger News - Swingers View On Condoms In The Porn Industry


The condom vote Tuesday marks a significant victory for the L.A.-based AIDS Healthcare Foundation. For years the L.A. based foundation has been rallying for performers to wear condoms and even to try and mandate the ordinance. In the past decade, porn shoots have been suspended several times following high-profile cases where porn performers have been infected with HIV.

Michael Weinstein, the president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation said “It’s a great day for the performers and safer sex in our society,”. For years lawmakers ignored or dismissed initiatives to crack down on condom use. Apparently the AIDS Healthcare Foundation garnered signatures of voters to pass an ordinance on the use of condoms. the ordinance actually goes a bit further, listen to this, the ordinance requires adult film producers when seeking a filming permit to:

  • Use Condoms During Filming
  • Pay a fee which would fund surprise inspections.
Swinger News - Swingers View On Condoms In The Porn Industry


The proposed requirement would have targeted the multibillion-dollar porn industry centered in the San Fernando Valley. The city council members voted and approved the measure because it would have cost tax payers $4 million dollars to hold a special election.

Porn industry representatives were furious at the vote. Diane Duke of the lobbying group Free Speech Coalition said, “This is government overreach. It’s not about performer health and safety, it’s about government regulating what happens between consenting adults.”

I am curious to see the readers input and fellow swingers input on this issue. Do you think the porn industry in Los Angeles should be forced to wear condoms? Do you think that the city officials have gone too far? Or do you agree with this? Please leave a comment below thanks guys and gals.

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Japan Swinger Clubs And LifeStyle Cultures

Swing Offbeat - Japan Swinger Clubs And LifeStyle Cultures


This is an interesting post I thought I would share with you. Upon one of my many travels, I Mike Hatcher recall a visit to Shinjuku Japan. I would like to point out that in Japan swingers aren’t really called swingers but they call them “happening clubs” or “kappuru kissa clubs”.  Anyways there is a big difference between American swinger clubs and Japan swinger clubs. The crazy thing is that these clubs looked so normal from the outside. It was in Shinjuku, on the road I always walked up to get to a club, when I saw this other club that just looked like some kind of members-only club. Upon nightfall one of my girlfriends asked if I wanted to go for some sex and sharing partners or If I wanted to take on an extra girl or two for the night. I thought long and hard, actually I am BS’ing you, It took me 3 seconds to respond hell yes! You never would’ve known that there was wall-to-wall screwing going on inside this normal looking club. Okay, I exaggerate: it was more like a few total strangers getting it on while a load of people dredged up from the cesspit of humanity sat around waiting for their turn and masturbating.

Swing Offbeat - Japan Swinger Clubs And LifeStyle Cultures

Japanese Unicorn

This place was insane: they had wipe-clean cushioned floors, they had a pole dancing area, they had boxes of tissues and condoms in all the corners, they had role play outfits, they had cages, they even had a zone where you could do rope bondage. Like I said: insane.
Kind of like an upper class swinger club but with a kick. The funniest part was that they even had a masturbation room. There were two rooms where you could go to have proper sex, but one of them was just for couples… (sound familiar?) only there was a one-way mirror inside, so if some guy wasn’t going to get his rocks off that night, he could go sit on the other side and stroke the salami while he watched someone else screwing. Always gotta give the customer what they want, right? It appears these clubs although offering couples only, also include rooms for single guys to get off, interesting.

Swing Offbeat - Japan Swinger Clubs And LifeStyle Cultures

tokyo babes

Anyway my girlfriend told me to go to the bar and talk to this cute little 20 year old at the bar, who was single, yes a unicorn, we struck up a conversation, and we decided to go into a room, with my girlfriend from afar encouraging me on. We went into this bondage type room where my girlfriend arrived with yet another woman. Good thing Mike was sweet because he needed all the energy and the sweet semen to go around. Without getting to graphic I had a blast, and some great experiences all night. After my escapade I was introduced to another surprise in the bathroom.

Swing Offbeat - Japan Swinger Clubs And LifeStyle Cultures

sega toylet

After a good loving session I had to take a leak, well I like to play my xbox 360 on occasion so I was in for a treat. As I approached the urinal, I noticed a video game hooked up to the urinal. Not knowing what to do I looked at the guy to the right of me. As he is urinating he is making noises and shaking his hips, he notices me looking at him and smiles. He thought I was checking him out, so I quickly said not interested just figuring out the game. As I approached I noticed a familiar logo on this video game, it said SEGA. Wow was I surprised, so I approached and almost beat it………the game I mean. Needless to say this place was great, super clean, fun uh games and sex games, makes you want to cum back for more.From what I am told Sega has this game in several urinals, just wish they had them in the US.

For a fun night out in Shinjuku just walk down the street and enjoy, really its that easy, these clubs look normal until you walk on in.

Enjoy the Sega Toylet video

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Swinger Party Ideas For The New Year

Hopefully everyone had a safe and happy new year with friends and family. It’s time to bring in the new year swinging and Mike Hatcher has some clever ideas to throw at your next swinger party. When I throw a party I make sure to throw parties that are unique and ones that make people remember my party, the atmosphere and all in between. Often times people talk about what I have at my party.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Party Ideas For The New Year

gummy shot glasses(courtesy

For example, party favors can go a long way. My last party I had some interesting shot glasses that everyone enjoyed. These shot glasses are unique in that they are gummy shot glasses. These are great because it gets people talking and gets people drinking.

These gummy shot glasses are totally edible and come in different flavors like cola, lemon, lime, raspberry, red cherry, and orange. You can either freeze them first, or use them as is, but make sure you don’t bite into them if you do decide to freeze them.

Sometimes I won’t tell my guests, but more or less let them examine and use them, again this gets people talking at your party especially newbie’s. Party items like such as this open up a room for chat and gets everyone involved. If you are interested I decided to let you in on where Mike Hatcher buys his gummy glasses. You can purchase them here: Gummy Shot Glasses

For a retro 70’s or 80’s I like to use Recycled LP Records as coasters, you can buy them online or find some old records at your second hand shop. These are great because they just lead to more of the atmosphere, should you throw a retro themed party. Not only is

Swingers Guide - Swinger Party Ideas For The New Year


this a great party favor to place your drinks, but once again it gets people talking. At every party the goal is to break the ice and get people talking amongst themselves. The more uniqe party favors you have, the more open you will find people to be. By doing so the more talks you will generate among everyone at the party. No matter which party, I always like to leave reading material around for the guests to use, like Position Sex Bible. This book is great and gets people talking; the best part is you leave it out somewhere that you know a guest would pick it up. The book sticks out so easily, that guests will be very interested in, and also pick up to read and examine.

Again this is a great conversation starter and breaks the ice. How many of us have either been to a first time house party, or the hosts may have thrown a first time house party? If the answer is yes to any of these, then you might want to try some of these suggestions. The good news is that this book can be found at your local Spencers, which is another good place for ideas on swinger parties.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Party Ideas For The New Year


In closing I would like to give a final word of advice, It is great to have a quiet room where people can talk, this is a great place to leave some interesting and sexual reading material around. For the T.V room I would not only put on a regular hard core porno, but I would recommend an Axel Braun Parody. These are great, they say laughter is best, and what better way to have both in a porn. Some of Axel Brauns work include: Superman XXX: A Porn Parody, Simpsons The XXX Parody. To see some more of Axel Brauns work, check out some of my other posts like :

Star Wars For Swingers and this popular blog post that has several couples bookmakring and sharing,  New Ghostbusters Trailer Lastly you have to read What Movies To Watch At Your Swinger Party

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Celebrity Porn Stars

Swing Offbeat - Celebrity Porn Stars

all in the family Jackie Chan

When it was revealed that he starred in a Hong Kong skin flick called All In The Family, he revealed” I had to do anything I could to make a living 31 years ago, but I don’t think it’s a big deal, even Marlon Brando used to be exposed in his movies”. All in the Family features Chan, getting it on with a famous porn actress of the time.

Unlikely Celebrity Porn Stars by swinglifestyle

Next Up Is Cameron Diaz, apparently before she made a break through performance in The Mask, she had taken some S&M footage with another woman. These pics were to go into her portfolio. A few years later, the photographer tried to sell them to a Russian

Swing Offbeat - Celebrity Porn Stars

Cameron Diaz

pornography group, after he offered Diaz “rights of refusal”, basically he tried to blackmail her to prevent the release. Well we remember what happened with that, she won, but her nudes appeared on the internet, just as everything else does.


Swing Offbeat - Celebrity Porn Stars

Rocky Stallion

Unless you have been living under a rock, no pun intended, you already know about Sylvester Stallone received a whopping $200 bucks to star in  The Party At Kitty And Stud’s. Stallone was cast as the stud. For those of you also not in the know, Sylvester Stallone also appeared nude in Playgirl magazine. Yep you heard it right, the Italian Stallion, the one and only. I have been a fan for years, but never seen this skin flick, make sure to watch the video for clips of their movies, then decide if you want to watch these. Maybe throw a retro swinger party and play these?


Saved By The Bell’s Dustin Diamond made a porno, yup! I never saw this one and have not heard anything about it. The only thing I hear is “Screech is in it” and I’m thinking, cool a comedy porno.

Swing Offbeat - Celebrity Porn Stars



I remember watching saved by the bell quite often and thought screech was great, but as a porn star? Hey I’ll check anything out, I will even watch this. Mike Hatcher is the type of guy that gets along with everyone and does not wish bad upon anyone, so anyone out there with negatives about Dustin Diamond, keep em to yourself.


Who remembers Family Matters? I do, I loved that T.V. show, with Steve Urkel, and the youngest daughter of Judy Winslow. Jamie Foxworth was the cute adorable girl that was written out of the show, presumably to make way for more Steve Urkel jokes and time. Since then, Jamie Foxworth has gone on to star in multiple porn films.

Chyna, AKA Joanie Laurer, If you haven’t heard this one, not only has  the super celebrity wrestler and star appeared in a home made movie, she has more in the works apparently. Laurer followed up two Playboy spreads with the 2004 video extravaganza One Night in China (ugh), wherein her alleged lady parts are repeatedly assailed by fellow pro wrestler and alleged man X-Pac. Recently Vivid Entertainment has greenligthed a new flick”Backdoor to Chyna”. Apparently she takes on 2 guys at once and going to be a must watch!

If you enjoyed this read, Make Sure To Check Out: Swinging Humor

& Swing Offbeat


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Swinger Club Rules

Several readers have been asking me so many questions on swinger clubs so I will target a couple of questions submitted by my readers. Below are the Q & A on Swinger Clubs.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Club Rules

popular swinger clubs

Q: Mike, why are swinger clubs becoming so popular?

A: The world is becoming smaller all the time thanks in part to technology. More people are becoming interested in the lifestyle, now that they see more people think and feel just like they do on the swinging subject. Clubs are popular because they give you and your partner a chance to meet other swingers. Clubs also open the doors for exciting erotic and exotic sex.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Club Rules

Swinger clubs

Q: My girlfriend is 20 years old can she get in?
A: Unfortunately not, because clubs offer sexual contact, most clubs have age restrictions. Also because there is alcohol present at most times, there is the need to be 21 years of age. I would recommend calling the club and discovering the restrictions for yourself.

Q: Do you have to be a member at a club or how does it work?

Swingers Guide - Swinger Club Rules

Swinger Club

A: Most swinger clubs do require a membership, sometimes it is a one time fee accompanied by a monthly due, or may vary. Some clubs have different prices for Unicorns and single men, as well as couples. Some clubs do not allow single men, but you would have to check at the clubs you are anticipating on attending. The good thing with memberships is that the club’s management can ensure only real swingers attend the parties and events at the club.

Q: What are the rules at a swinger club ?
A: Every club has their own determined set of rules to abide by.In closing I had people write in a few months ago on “what to wear at a swinger club so I would recommend you read this article as well. What To Wear? First Time Swingers

If you are looking for a swinger club, here is a map of the U.S. with a list of all Swinger Clubs: Swinger Clubs And How To Choose One

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Happy Swinging Holidays

Swingers Guide - Happy Swinging Holidays


I would like to take this time to tell everyone to have a safe and Happy Swinging Holiday Season. To all, Christmas (Christian, Roman Catholic, International) 5 – Ashura (Islamic, Muslim), St. Nicholas Day (International), Bodhi Day – Buddha’s Enlightenment (Buddhist), Hanukkah* (Jewish), Virgin of Guadalupe (Mexico), Santa Lucia Day (Sweden), Las Posadas (Mexico), Boxing Day (Canada, United Kingdom) and Kwanzaa (African-American) Hopefully I fit everyone in there.

Mike has some great holiday tips, that all holidays can take pride in. For instance, this Holiday Season, get some mistletoe, and hang it around, you may get a free kiss, a great holiday tradition. Personally around the holidays I am very generous…………so generous in fact, it is the time of year I get the most blow jobs. –Tis the season…… Jingle all the way and play with my sleigh bells!

Swingers Guide - Happy Swinging Holidays

christmas blow job

I always wear my belt buckle made of mistletoe to receive the gift that keeps on giving, or until something sweet is deposited, whichever comes first. But seriously, this time of year can ring in some pretty cool swinger parties. Ladies can dress up like Mrs. Claus, and have a gang bang elf party. Serve up some of….

Mike Hatcher’s Egg Nog:
2 oz light rum
6 oz milk
1 tsp powdered sugar
1 whole egg

Shake all ingredients (except nutmeg) with ice and strain into a Collins glass. Sprinkle nutmeg on top and serve. Tastes Great!

Swingers Guide - Happy Swinging Holidays

Mike Hatcher Last Holiday

Make sure to play it safe this season, remember, New Years there are a lot of casualties, so please take that into consideration. Don’t drink and drive, and play it safe. Have Fun All.

Make sure to give your keys to someone if you have had too much to drink and just try and be responsible and know your limits. If you are throwing a swinger party, you may want to collect keys from everyone. Be a responsible host, because sometimes, a person may get hurt. This is the season to be nice to everyone, so lets ring in the New Year, by being safe.

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Siri Hates Swingers

According to tech.fortune.cnn, Tellme by Microsoft  blasts “Swingers swap sex partners in prudish Singapore”.  Tellme is a voice operating system for a windows phone 7 system, like the Siri voice operating system is for the iphone. If you watch the video Siri became a foul mouth to me. Read on…………..

Swinging Humor - Siri Hates Swingers


TechAu’s Jason Cartwright used a side by side voice off, by issuing voice commands to an iPhone 4S running Siri and a Windows Phone 7 system running Tellme. Apparently Siri passed with flying colors, but the Tellme, apparently did not.

I watched the video and maybe there were some settings he missed? He asks the phones to “Create a meeting tomorrow at 10 a.m.,” Tellme hears “create a meeting tomorrow at teen anal” and turns up an article entitled “Swingers swap sex partners in prudish Singapore”. From the video if you watch the swingers comparison, you will see Mike Hatcher interacting with Siri, in this parody and Siri is not nice, hopefully Siri is not telling the truth?

I don’t know about you guys, but I would rather go for the Microsoft Swinger friendly version right? Tellme, gave me no problems, but Siri had some interesting comments to share with everyone. It appears one of the phones is swinger friendly, me personally I have always liked Microsoft. Coming from Seattle I have nothing but love for them, and I know some Apple user out there is reading this getting ready to write a nasty negative comment. Well, that is what free speech is for, I know of this developer, gets a new iphone every 3months, and praises them.

I do like Siri though because I texted him a message that said “Illogical, Vulcan’s have no penis”………..low and behold, Siri repeated the message back in this cheesy voice……..OOPS!  Make sure to read a message always…….You never know who may be pranking you. All he got was a line that Said “Message From Mike Hatcher” Not thinking anything he said Play message, and good ole Siri repeated in voice, “Vulcans have no penis”.….Priceless! I think this guys accent through the Windows phone off, but that’s my opinion. The tester was Aussie and Microsoft probably programmed it for an American accent, before an update, never know. I have an Aussie friend that agrees with me, on this.

Swinging Humor - Siri Hates Swingers

windows phone

In closing, in this age of technology, swinging is becoming easier and easier to meet people, and as long as we have love for one another and love for technology, we can continue swinging until we are the majority rule. Don’t forget to use Swinglifestyle Mobile for your swinging needs.

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Swinger Culture

I hate reading all these blogs or swinger related material on the net called “swinger etiquette“. That term was coined popular by LifeStyle Magazine, and the word is so 2000.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Culture

swinger culture

The new term, is swinger culture. I have decided to put together a blog on swinger culture and how couples should act. A lot of thought went into this, as I felt that it was much needed in the swinging community, especially with some postings on Facebook. First off, to all my fellow swingers, that get stood up on your swinger date, listen up. I know it can be frustrating, and it does happen, so I plan to address this issue. The fact of the matter is the no shows, could be newbies and were scared.  I have compiled a list to follow in the swinger culture.

#1 Always remember you and your partner should never try or attempt to break up a marriage. I ran in to a couple that thought is was exciting to try and do this, that’s just sick and wrong.

Swingers Guide - Swinger Culture

sex rules

#2 When you make a date with another couple or unicorn, single male etc., always keep a date, and make sure to give enough time in advance if you cancel. Do not wait until 15 minutes before to come up with a lame excuse.

#3 Make sure the first meeting is no pressure and no strings, do not come on too strong, everyone has a different comfort level.  You and your partner should be prepared to swing if mutually agreed or give an honest answer if it does not work out.

#4 Very important, make sure you do not FORCE your partner into swinging. And honestly don’t make your partner take one for the team.

#5 Do not name drop of other swingers in your community, after all your swinging friends may not appreciate it. I had a guy brag that he is bi and blew this person or that, and even said things like “do you know who on the city council is bi”? Things like this are inappropriate.

#6 Hygiene! – Make sure you are clean, shaven………………CLEAN

Swingers Guide - Swinger Culture


#7 When swinging make sure not to engage in any illegal activity in the group that may get someone else in trouble by guilt of association. One of my friends went to a party that got busted, there was marijuana, and he and his wife were arrested because someone there, hid the pot in her purse when authorities arrived.

#8 Be polite and kind, remember we are all human and have feelings, remember there is an emotional involvement which is reserved for the spouse, so be polite during the exchange.

I hope this list helps people out there, and remember make sure to treat others as you would want to be treated……….swear I heard that before?


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What Do Thanksgiving & Swinger Wives Have In Common?

Swinging Humor - What Do Thanksgiving & Swinger Wives Have In Common?


So, what do swinger wives and Thanksgiving have in common? Well they both liked to get stuffed like a turkey. I always get sentimental on the holidays, thankful for you, I have my dirty take on it. When I think of most things, I try and see things as there is a funny side to every situation and the challenge is to find it.
I like Thanksgiving because food and sex go hand in hand, but I notice around the holidays people stay away from social sites even swinger sites to focus on family, which is totally cool. I heard this one guy say, hey if an egg can fit in there why can’t I? Gross for sure but people say weird things.

Back to sex and food going hand in hand, I like Thanksgiving, because you can get away with saying things like Hatcher’s top 10 favorites listed below.

10. “Talk about a huge breast!” Swinging Humor - What Do Thanksgiving & Swinger Wives Have In Common?

9. “It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?”

8. “Don’t play with your meat.”

7. “Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.”

6. “I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!”

5. “You still have a little bit on your chin.”

4. “How long will it take after you stick it in?”

3. “You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.”

2. “That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!”

1. “How long do I beat it before it’s ready?”

Swinging Humor - What Do Thanksgiving & Swinger Wives Have In Common?

Hatchers Mashed Taters

Here is a picture of my famous Mike Hatchers Mashed potatoes. Let me know if you need the recipe it is a sight to see!

If any reader knows me, they know I have an asian tattoo and have a martial arts background. I kind of do a different Thanksgiving dinner approach, yeah i will have a Turkey that I will stuff (with food) and I also offer turkey friend rice.  Now since I like to have rice and sex for breakfast, I will invite my swinger friends over and my favorite little asian girlfriend and get a buffet going. Yes she is usually stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey, but damn she is the sexiest woman to eat off of. I included a pic of her in case you guys and gals would like to see. Let me know if you want the recipe for this sushi turkey holiday dish.

Swinging Humor - What Do Thanksgiving & Swinger Wives Have In Common?

Hatchers Thanksgiving dinner

Ahh, this is why I love Thanksgiving, It reminds me of a joke my Aunt played on my uncle, true story. Uncle Bob and Aunt Wendy have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.

Every morning for 15 years, Wendy says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”
One Thanksgiving morning, Wendy’s preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before Bob gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards and guts in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself.

Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Wendy laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says, “You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again.”

Bob is also the father of my cousin who got the cat stuck up his ass. If you want to hear that one you need to read Swingers: Generation X and scroll down to the bottom. Trust me you will laugh. On a serious note, please be safe this Holiday season, and watch the alcohol intake. Hatcher Out !

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Viagra Murders Blamed On Caterpillars

Swinger News - Viagra Murders Blamed On Caterpillars

crazy villagers

Strange yes, True? You bet, listen to this, in Nepal there were recently 19 villagers convicted of murder of a group of farmers in a fight over a prized aphrodisiac plant in which people call it the “Himalayan Viagra”.

The fight started when the right to harvest the plant, ensued, which led to the murder. Talk about being hard on them (bad joke). Yarsagumba is mostly used as a tonic. Its main applications are for treating exhaustion, respiratory and pulmonary diseases (e.g., tuberculosis, asthma), renal, liver, and cardiovascular diseases, back pain, and sexual problems (e.g., lack of sex drive, premature ejaculation). Its use as an aphrodisiac seems to be the driving force with male consumers in China.

Swinger News - Viagra Murders Blamed On Caterpillars

public erection

The news is breaking just now, the victims went missing back in June of 2009. It was weeks before authorities learned of the deaths, due to the remote landscape of the area. Six have been found guilty of murder and given 20 year sentences, while 13 have received 2 years, but now are being released because they served time in custody.

So far 21 people were declared innocent, so that’s 21+13+6, wow that’s 40 people involved. I can’t believe a fight would break out over this. Every year during May and June, thousands of villagers from remote areas risking their own lives head for high mountains to collect yarsagumba.

Swinger News - Viagra Murders Blamed On Caterpillars


It is estimated that one villager can earn up to Rs. 2,500 approximately to $35 a day by collecting yarsagumba which is beyond the monthly salary of many Nepalese households. Hey the economy is bad, and people are doing what they can.

I googled this so called plant, and it is actually a fungus. Before the rainy season begins, spores of the cordyceps mushroom settle on the heads of caterpillars’ that lives underground. The fungus gets so much into the body of the caterpillars’ that it grows out through its head and drains all the energy from the insect and ultimately it dies. And this is what is called Yarsagumba. You learn something new every day, apparently the taste is pleasant and sweet with a nutty flavor.

Swinger News - Viagra Murders Blamed On Caterpillars

Yarsagumba Harvest

Yarsagumba, or Chongca in Chinese, has been harvested in Tibet for centuries and used in traditional Chinese medicine for a very long time. It spread to the Western world with the Chinese diaspora: in New York, the herb was always present in the historic Chinatown community, but very little known outside it.

Hey I know some swinger couples that use Viagra and other recreational sexual enhancers. I have never tried this, but If I do I will review it for you guys. don’t forget to read more Swinger News.

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Cool Online Swinger Magazine

Swingers News - Cool Online Swinger Magazine

LifeStyle Magazine fall 2011

I had to write this post because I found out the other day that this cool swinger magazine can be viewed online. I get the hard copy (no pun intended) delivered. I still like having it delivered, but hey that’s me. I like that it is delivered discretely to my home with nothing identifying it as a swinger magazine.

LifeStyle Magazine is cool because they have been going on for since about 2001 I think.The magazine is dedicated to exclusively the LifeStyle and toward instances, clubs, parties and more. The newest issue features good ole SwingLifeStyle’s Anniversary party, and an article or two by your favorite perverted blogger, non other than Mike Hatcher.

Swingers News - Cool Online Swinger Magazine

LifeStyle Magazine Issue #1

Although this magazine came out before my time, I am honored to contribute to this publication. I like the back section, because it shows clubs locations, and phone numbers. If you want you can pick up a free magazine at your local swinger club, or go to LifeStyle Magazine and view the online version here: LifeStyle Magazine

Or you can sign up for a free copy here: FREE SWINGER MAGAZINE

If you have signed up for a copy and it has been 3 months please contact them here: CONTACT

Keep in mind this is a quarterly magazine and comes out 4 times yearly.

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Cuckold Vs Swinging

Swingers Guide - Cuckold Vs Swinging


Several readers have written in and asked me if there is a difference between swinging and being a cuckold. The answer is a definite yes. To understand a cuckold relationship or lifestyle you must first understand what a cuckold is. The encyclopedia determines a cuckold as a man who has an unfaithful wife.

Swingers Guide - Cuckold Vs Swinging

Interracial cuckold

The newer accepted description is or can be, a sexually inadequate husband who accepts his wife’s decision on who she alone will decide to have sex with. Now there are several types of cuckolds. Some cuckold relationships involve a white wife who exclusively has sex with a black man. Sometimes in this type of lifestyle the wife may want to, or accidentally get impregnated by the man who the wife has sex with, known as the “Alpha male or the “Bull”.

Swingers Guide - Cuckold Vs Swinging

cuckold (courtesy wifesharing)

Usually the wife will have sex with a man that is much more endowed than her husband. Sometimes humiliation come in to play, and some wives even make their husbands wear a chastity device, and may call them their slave. After the full sexing of the wife by the “Alpha male” it is usually customary for the husband to clean up the wife orally once the Alpha male has ejaculated on her or in her. The husband must do a good job licking up the semen deposited by the Alpha male. Some husbands and wives enjoy this lifestyle and if you see a wife or husband on SwingLifeStyle looking for a “Bull” or :Alpha Male” then you know what their interests are.

Swingers Guide - Cuckold Vs Swinging


Now swinging can involve a husband watching the wife have sex as well, but in swinging the husband can join in and usually its about swapping partners. Swinging is not about humiliating, but bisexual experience or semen tasting may come into play. I guess you can say there are certain degrees and fine lines in between a cuckold lifestyle that cross a hair or two into swinging but also a hair or two into the BDSM lifestyle as well. Sites like SwingLifeStyle are great for this type of activity because it is the largest website of its kind.

Remember everyone has their own fetish and please be courteous to everyone, no matter what their fetish is. Some people have mixed fetishes on swinging and cuckolding, so be sure to get to know the person or persons you intend to have an adventure with.

If you want to use SwingLifeStyle to help with a swinging encounter or find an “Alpha Male” or “Bull” make sure to have your bull read this article below to make his semen taste sweet.  HOW TO MAKE SEMEN SWEET

Make sure to read cuckold stories here:  CUCKOLD STORIES

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Maine Swingers Halted By Officials

Swinger News - Maine Swingers Halted By Officials

sanford swingers photo by Shawn P. Sullivan

In Sanford, Maine, local police officers observed people naked and engaging in a variety of sex acts. Guess what the police and city official did to these consenting adults………

Let me point out, that this news is ridiculous, the couples were having sex period. According to Fosters Daily Democrat, Police Chief Thomas Connolly had undercover police at this party on Oct. 15th. Let me point out that these police are about as sharp as a marble. I can not believe this was reported and wasting tax payer’s dollars, to boost ones reputation, yes that’s my opinion.

I think we all notice when election time is coming up, either a police chief or an authorities figure makes headlines or makes arrests. Here is my point……
Town Manager Mark Green said that the town has decided not to use Mousam View Place (the location where the swingers club was located) as a polling location during the upcoming November election. In light of the activities there, the town has decided to combine Ward 7 with the Ward 3 polling location at St. Ignatius Gym at 25 Riverside Avenue, according to Town Clerk Sue Cote. The police would never have seen these acts, if they did not PAY THE COVER charge to gain entrance. Funny, the people that don’t like swinging and like swinging paid for the cover charge, the tax payers. So lets recap, a swinger club gets busted, police use tax payers money to gain entrance, then the tax payers, pay for the court costs, am I missing something?

The town’s code enforcement officer wrote a certified letter to Jim and Susan Colley after undercover police attended a party Oct. 15 at a former Knights of Columbus hall.

Jim and Susan Colley own Great Beginnings Catering, the company used to rent out the hall for the swinger events. Town Manager Mark Green said ” We just didn’t feel we should be patronizing the business,” Green said the town hasn’t done any business with Great Beginnings Catering for a month or so, since officials learned about the function hall hosting the swingers’ parties.

Wow thanks Mark Green, that will help the economy, blackballing a business, but hey the town made headlines for the upcoming November 7th election right? It appeared that was the point. Why else make it known that you are moving the election location from a swinger hall??

Point made but these are my opinions!

Show your support for Maine Swingers by visiting SwingLifeStyle’s :Maine Swingers

For More Swinger News Visit:  SWINGER NEWS

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Airport Security Finds Vibrator And Makes It Known


Swinger News - Airport Security Finds Vibrator And Makes It Known

Bullet Vibe

Imagine waiting in line to your plane thinking everything is going to be OK. You get to your room, only to find a note written on the back of a TSA notice. Jill Filipovic, arrived at her room in Dublin and started to unpack her suitcase and found a note from TSA.

The note said “Get Your Freak On Girl”. The item was a basic $15 bullet vibe, pretty much a basic toy if you can imagine that.

An alert Transportation Security Administration screener at New Jersey’s Newark Airport, apparently discovered a sex toy and decided to write on the package of and slap a TSA sticker on it. This is just inappropriate, and I do not agree with this. Although it may be humorous to some, at first read, the nation had to go through a lot on 9-11 and security is in place and should be professional.

Swinger News - Airport Security Finds Vibrator And Makes It Known

Actual TSA Note (Courtesy Fox News)

Apparently the woman laughed when she read the note, however afterward she felt the same way I did upon reading this article. This woman is attractive and I like her style, but of course she is a Seattle native just like good ole Hatcher.

Jill Filipovic is a blogger and wrote this” She wrote that she suspects “whoever left the note felt comfortable doing so, (I also suspect that they believed most women would be embarrassed to be “caught” with personal items and wouldn’t file a complaint),” she wrote in the email. “That is certainly cause for concern.”
I agree with her, and this brings me to the next point, I know a lot of the readers are swingers and open minded, but hear me out. I know a couple that they bring a FULL luggage of toys, I mean whips, chains vibrators dildos, I mean hell they probably have the kitchen sink if truth be known.

Swinger News - Airport Security Finds Vibrator And Makes It Known

Jill Filipovic

The next time you travel on a plane, you may want to LEAVE your sex toys at home and possibly buy one at your destination if you need one. People use to be professional, I mean before I could write my opinions on my screwed up head, I had to pass a test. SwingLifeStyle likes to make sure a contributing writer can pass rigorous tests. Before I could write I had to prove I could BLOW away the competition, and work hard under pressure. Below is a reenactment of my blog test that SLS conducted. I resemble Hugh Jackman, only with dark hair and a thin goatee….I had to blog while uhhhh……….watch.  …….


OK maybe it didn’t happen quite like that but it was pretty close…Swingers

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Swingers Salute Barbie Creator

Swinger News - Swingers Salute Barbie Creator

Ken And Barbie (courtesy

Ever been on a swingers dating site and read “Ken and Barbie”? I am a fan of Barbie, and never knew why. My mother and Aunt would always collect Barbie dolls, they have quite the collection. I always wanted to pretend that these dolls would have a fun swinger party, I was even contemplating shooting a parody video…….that is until I did some digging…….

According to the New York Post, Jack Ryan, the designer of the Barbie doll, would stage orgies at his Bel-Air Mansion. I knew he was married to Zsa Zsa Gabor, but I did not know that he surrounded himself with busty Barbie clones, even Gwen Florea.
I guess Gwen Florea was also the voice of Barbie in a line of talking dolls.

Swinger News - Swingers Salute Barbie Creator

Jack Ryan & Zsa Zsa Gabor hmmm themed party?

Jerry Oppenhiemer’s book “Toy Monster: The Big, Bad World of Mattel” made revelations about the late Jack Ryan. According to Ryan’s friend, Stephen Gnass confided in Jerry Oppenhiemer, that “When Jack talked about creating Barbie . . . it was like listening to somebody talk about a sexual episode, almost like listening to a sexual pervert . . .” Hmm, now I know where swinger websites get it when people post….”we are not Ken and Barbie”……makes you wonder?

Swinger News - Swingers Salute Barbie Creator

Gwen Florea

I am liking this Jack Ryan, and I think I am going to start a doll collection in tribute, this is so cool. The book goes on to claim that Jack Ryan was diagnosed with gonorrhea, which reminds me to tell everyone, remember to use protection…..always.

If you enjoyed this article, make sure to read Swingers Salute Michael Marston For Bondage And Wonder Woman

That is if you are sure you want to know the origins of Wonder Woman.

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New York Swingers Benefits

Swingers Guide - New York Swingers Benefits

New York Swingers

Do New York Swingers have more fun? Several people are asking this and if there are more swinger clubs in New York. Well for starters, I couldn’t count all of New York’s Swinger clubs, but I counted around 400. So the answer to the clubs is strikingly obvious.

New York Swingers host about 100 parties a week, I looked at the party section for New York Swingers on SwingLifeStyle and counted about 100 this week. Not bat at all, the cool thing is that any member can post a party and invite whoever they want to attend.

Since its easy to post parties, this is probably why there are so many weekly on SwingLifeStyle (SLS).

Swingers Guide - New York Swingers Benefits

New York Swingers

From what I hear New York swingers have some pretty wild wives, and the women are friendly. The exposure to a bigger state with a bigger city, may have influence on the bisexual interests as well. Since New York is so big, it is very easy for single women swingers, or Unicorn’s to have fun with no strings attached at all times.

If you live in New York or visiting, and are interested in Parties try this link: New York Swinger Party

If you live in New York or visiting, and are interested in Clubs try this link: New York Swinger Clubs


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Florida Swingers Party Locations

Swingers Guide - Florida Swingers Party Locations

Florida Swingers (courtesy

For those of you that will be visiting Florida this year, and are swingers, I have put together Florida swinger parties for your enjoyment. As the weather turns, snowbirds from the north fly down to Florida for some fun in the sun or may want to enjoy a swinger cruise or resort.

A friendly tip to think about first, in the cold months up north that you may be traveling to Florida, you may want to load up on vitamin C. You see, when people up north fly down to Florida, they will book a plane in advance and if they are sick, they will still travel. This will get everyone on board the plane sick. So, make sure to take your vitamins and be respectful to Floridians and the other passengers.

Swingers Guide - Florida Swingers Party Locations

Florida Swingers (courtesy

Now on to the fun stuff, if you are looking for a party, try this link—> Florida Swinger Parties <— you will thank me. The parties are updated as soon as a club, and or couple post one. If you are planning a trip, It may be wise to look at the parties a couple months in advance, get acquainted with whomever is throwing a party, and you will be set. Florida swingers are very open and friendly about taking on new couples, so feel free to chat up with em on SLS.

Swingers Guide - Florida Swingers Party Locations

Haulover Beach

Florida swinger resorts are another popular swinger vacation place among many swingers. Many resorts are situated around the sea side of Florida Key’s which offers activities in Fort Lauderdale, Miami, and throughout Florida. When visiting Florida, make sure to visit the world famous Haulover Beach. Yes it’s nude

Also make sure to check out some funny and fun facts about Florida swingers in my other blog here: (About)  - – - -> Florida Swingers

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Swingers Celebrate World Anal Gang Bang Anniversary

Swing Offbeat - Swingers Celebrate World Anal Gang Bang Anniversary

Victoria Givens

Ah world records, can you believe it has already been 7 years since the world anal gang bang record was broken? What’s more unbelievable, is no one has been able to beat it as of yet. I have been to a couple of swingers gang bangs, but nothing like this. I think the biggest anal gang bang I went to was about 10 guys on one woman. But, if you can believe it, on October 23rd, 2004, Victoria Givens became the official Anal Queen when she took 101 anal intrusions without one drop of artificial lubrication.
Talk about a pretty crappy world record lol, just kidding, I salute Victoria Givens for being a real trooper. The past world record was only 50 men in an anal gang ban, which Victoria passed with style. I recently watched the video of the 101 men, not too bad I may say. In what has been called the best-organized world record event ever, Givens’ crew began filming at about 9:30 in the morning and concluded at approximately 4:30PM. Each participant had 60 seconds, which doubles the time limit for most world record events. There were more men to be participants in the anal gang bang, but the fluffers were guest porn stars, Julie Robbins and Lisa Sparxxx. If you have read previous posts, Lisa Sparxxx holds the current world record for the largest vaginal gang bang at 919 men, just under a thousand. Remember to celebrate the 7th anniversary of this momentous occasion by setting up a gang bang or anal gang bang at your favorite Swinger club.  In case you missed it click here for: World Sex Records


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Animals That Are Swingers

Swing Offbeat - Animals That Are Swingers

Lemur Swinger (courtesy livescience)

As time progresses we fellow swingers hear time and time again that what we believe in, practice and preach is all wrong from at least someone. These people that tell us this are the same ones that think it is ok for nature to be swingers though.

Did you know that there are at least 10 different swingers in the animal kingdom? Its true, a recent news article showcased female Lemurs taking on more mates, when they are able to control their suitors. Mainstream society has dubbed swinging unacceptable, but females in the animal kingdom, taking on multiple male mates is not uncommon.


Primates Are Swingers

Swing Offbeat - Animals That Are Swingers

Primate Swinger (courtesy livescience)

Even though swinging or polyandry is acceptable in the animal kingdom, it is still a mystery in most species……..mainly humans. There is the Bonobos, a type of primate that, are highly promiscuous engaging in more sex than any other primate. The Bonobos will engage in homo, and heterosexual activities. Bonobos society is make love not war, and their frequent sex strengthens emotional and social bonds, resulting in no fighting or conflict. Ask yourself this, have you ever been to a swinger club and a fight broke out?………….Probably not. Swingers relieve stress and tension through sex and fun. We do not cause war either.

Dolphins Are Swingers

Swing Offbeat - Animals That Are Swingers

Dolphin Swingers (courtesy livescience)

Did you know that Dolphins are promiscuous and mate for reproduction and pleasure? The mating lasts one minute but repeated several times with short breaks in between.
This goes on frequently in the dolphin societies.

Let’s recap, humans that do not swing, wage war and create violence. Bonobos and Dolphins are swingers and live in peaceful intelligent societies. Looks like swinging can save the day.
In closing we are all animals, we got swinging not from the Roman orgies, but we watched it from nature …….back in the days of the stone age.

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Star Wars For Swingers

Swinger News - Swinging Humor - Star Wars For Swingers

Princess Lay-UH played by Allie Haze

Finally a movie you can watch at your swinger party and hopefully your favorite swinger club will have this movie playing on the wall. STAR WARS XXX: A PORN PARODY is coming. I can not wait until this is released, I mean, this movie will appeal to the Generation X Swingers the New Swingers and of course the veteran swingers.

How many of you can seriously sit there and say you would not do Princess Lay-AH lol.
I don’t care if you are male or female, if you are a couple reading this you would think hell yeah !

I love the opening scene, I mean the Luke Skywalker they picked is good, I felt he had an uncanny resemblance to Mark Hamill watch below……

Hilarious …….
Luke: How did my father die?
Obi-Wan: A young Jedi named Darth Vader who was a pupil of mine until I cut his arms and legs off and left him burning in a river of lava . . .
Luke: I think I want to go home now.

Swinger News - Swinging Humor - Star Wars For Swingers

Star Wars XXX A Porn Parody

I would like to see how they explain how Darth Vader is his father, played by Lexington Steele. Looks like a super cool cast though, with Allie Haze playing the adorable Princess Leia, Tom Byron as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rocco Reed as Han Solo, and Alec Knight as Chewbacca.

This is great, everyone is a fan of the older Star Wars, and everyone loves porn, this is great for swingers of all ages approved for 18 and up. This is one you don’t want to pass up.

Check Out More Parodies Here: What Movies To Watch At A Your Swinger Party

Check Out Full Listing Of: Local Swinger Parties

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Words That Use To Mean Something Else

I remember the days when you could say pretty much anything without being politically correct, racist, or religious. But anyway, remember not so long ago when certain words had different but non offensive meanings ?

Swing Offbeat - Words That Use To Mean Something Else

Wife Swap

Wife swappers have transitioned over the years and been called swingers and people call the act of living, the SwingLifeStyle. Wife swapping use to mean that you would swap wives for sex. Now, TV has a show “Wife Swap” where wives live at another location and does not involve sex.

Whats more? Women can’t just tell their husbands that they are going to the salon to get a “facial“. Some men may question what the hell kind of salon it is ?

Swing Offbeat - Words That Use To Mean Something Else

Did You Blow 2 Trannies ?

Or how about a “tranny” ?? Remember when you could tell your buddy that you blew a tranny? Well you can’t get away with that anymore you have to say “transmission”, look at the photo of the man blowing two tranny’s.

I am sure each and everyone of you reading this, has a Ho or has used a Ho for more than one occasion, maybe even used a Ho while……………..Gardening? Yes spelled HOE, ahh how the meanings have changed.

Gang Bangers is not just a bunch of gang members strolling the neighborhood looking for something to break in. Although I guess it could have a similar meaning as today.

Swing Offbeat - Words That Use To Mean Something Else

ACDC courtesy graphicshunt

ACDC” is not just a rock band from Australia and not an electrical current, but also means: A Person or persons who enjoy sexual activity involving both the same sex and the opposite sex; Also known as Bi- or Bisexual. These swingers tend to be free spirits and enjoy swinger sex more and are more sexually liberated with little to no reservations.

We all have heard of the “backdoor” right? Well this word does not mean a door on your house. This refers to anal sex or intercourse. I remember growing up watching wildlife shows and being fond of cougars. Now that I am older I am still fond of cougars, the ones that have claws, like younger men, scratch your back and wear a leopard dress.

How bout this, “indoor sports” doesn’t involve you watching a football game at home, nope, it is a slang term for swinging activities. Also known as just “Indoor“.

Remember when a “unicorn” was a mystical horse? In swinging, it’s slang for a single, generally bi-sexual female that participates in the lifestyle. Referred to as a “unicorn” because they are so rare.

Swing Offbeat - Words That Use To Mean Something Else

Water Sports? courtesy Ángel Franco/The New York Times

I remember a story that my swinger friend told me once. He said he and his wife were excited because they were invited to a swinger party and they were having a “water sports” event. I won’t get into any detail what happened, but they found out it did not involve jet ski’s.
Water sports, is also referred to as a golden shower. Urination involving sexual stimulation. This would be considered a fetish. Below is a pretty good indication what water sports involves.


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Shocking Bisexual Survey

Swing Offbest - Shocking Bisexual Survey

Bisexual Statistics

It may come as no surprise that bisexuality has been increasing among women for the past decade. The Center for Disease Control, (CDC) while conducting surveys found that 4% of women had bisexual experiences in 2002. A government survey of American Sexual Practices conducted a survey, in 2005 revealing that 14% of women surveyed age 18-29 reported at least having 1 homosexual experience.

What’s interesting, is that I couldn’t find recent bisexual surveys, but from 2002-2005.  Bisexual curiosity and engagement, rose 3X. If the rise is  consistent at 3X, then about 45% of women in 2011 are bi curious or engaged in a bisexual act.

Bisexual women and single gay and bisexual women enjoy SwingLifeStyle, because most swinger wives are bisexual or curious. Bisexual, gay and single bisexual or gay women can enjoy the lifestyle immensely. Single bisexual women can have play from both the man and woman, and receive all the attention sexually. Single bisexual women in the lifestyle or “Unicorns” as they are called also get into the majority of swinger parties for free as well as drinks for free.

Swing Offbest - Shocking Bisexual Survey

courtesy sex positions pics

I know of one instance where a gay woman wanted to play with the wife, while the husband watched. The good thing about the lifestyle is there are so many different fetishes and no one looks down upon anyone, at least they should not look down on anyone, otherwise they should not be there.

Single women and couples really appreciate that requires single males to become paid members within a week or the single male’s account will be deleted. This cuts down on men that are not serious, men that do not understand the rules of the lifestyle. Several men join the site because they are uneducated and think a swinger wife is obligated and HAS to have sex with whoever. This is not the case and should be left for another discussion.

Swing Offbest - Shocking Bisexual Survey

courtesy sex positions pics allows single women to be more free and liberated in their choices without being bothered or pressured by tons of single men. The single men on the site are limited and the couples are mature. “Single women that are bi curious get the best of both worlds in the Swinglifestyle”

More Bisexual Links:

Bisexual, A Mans First Time

Bisexual Stories

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Man Raped By Woman For 3 Days

Swinger News - Man Raped By Woman For 3 Days

Olga Zahjac -Black Belt

Yes It‘s true, you do not want to mess with Russian women. In Russia, Viktor Jasinski tried to rob a hair salon and Olga Zajac, age 28, a black belt in Karate kicked him, rendering him unconscious. When awoke, Viktor found himself tied up and bound to a radiator completely naked.

Olga allegedly stripped him naked and for the next three days, used him as a sex slave to ‘teach him a lesson’ – force feeding him Viagra to keep the lesson going. This chic is hot too, I mean when you look at the pic of her you think…..damn!

The funny part is she tied him with hair dryer cables from her salon. This is like a scene from pulp fiction when Bruce Willis and Marcellus (does he look like a bitch) Wallace aka Ving Rhames were tied and Marcellus was raped.

When the man was released he went straight to the police and told them about what had happened to him, saying he was held hostage and handcuffed to a radiator and fed nothing but Viagra.

Swinger News - Man Raped By Woman For 3 Days

Does He Look Like a Bitch?

The police went to question Olga and her remark was “What a bastard, yeah we had sex a couple of times but I bought him new jeans, gave him food and 1,000 rubles when he left”. This guy was a robber, he got paid and laid by a hot chic, WTF is this guy thinking…..honestly? He reports her? I think he learned his lesson the hard way.

To imagine what it might be like please click here “Rape Scene From the Movie Thursday” No its not safe for work but this woman rapes this guy. I do think no one should have sex against their will in closing, this just made for an interesting article.

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