If you’re curious about what lifestyle couples involved in BDSM relationships are actually doing behind closed doors, we can only dare venture a few ‘guesses.’ However, that curiosity about the BDSM lifestyle is fairly common, as the Kinsey Institute reports that:

• 30% of Americans enjoy a bit of spanking in bed
  
• 20% have experimented in bondage and restraint play
• 13% of lifestyle couples delve deeply into flogging and whips
  

And they wrap that survey up with a rough estimate that more than 80% of Americans admit to fantasizing about being in BDSM relationships. That being said, let’s explore a few basics to fuel your fantasies.

What is BDSM?

A loose acronym for play time terms like bondage/discipline, domination/submission, sadism/masochism, BDSM is ultimately a spectrum term defining ‘power’ relations between lifestyle couples. As a beginner, don’t be too concerned with ‘what’ others do, but focus on what ‘you’ and your willing partner are interested in as you test out the waters.

Have the Talk, Set Boundaries, and Get Educated

Once your partner or partners have agreed to adult playtime endeavors, be sure to set your limits right away (you can expand these as comfort allows). Discuss what ‘toys’ you are willing to dabble in. Will you be tied up? Gagged? Spanked? Will you want accessories?

Regardless, you will want to assign a safe word or bodily indication of when enough is enough. As a novice, you can learn a lot about the BDSM lifestyle through literature, online, watching videos and even checking out educational courses like those at Kinky Academy can be invaluable to newbies.

Easing in to the Lifestyle

By all means, don’t go overboard buying fancy ropes, paddlers and expensive bondage gear right away. Accessories like stockings, ribbons, hairbrushes and such serve as great tools for light spanking and bondage play—and they’re ready whenever the inkling strikes.

If you and your partner are seriously committed, you can likely find like-minded couples near you to explore with, so be bold and live in the present moment!

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