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A Guide to Being A Submissive in the BDSM Lifestyle

submissives

Swingers who are comfortable with participating in the lifestyle sometimes find themselves digging a bit deeper into the kink to explore the BDSM lifestyle. While this type of sex play has been popularized by the 50 Shades of Grey series, there’s a lot more to dom/sub play done off the big screen. Typically, there’s no contract involved and submissives don’t give over full control per se.

Let’s explore why subs love what they do and their daddy doms that provide them with both pain and pleasure.

A Greater Feeling of Equality

While it sounds contradictory to being involved in sub/dom play, people involved in BDSM tend to have a strong sense of equality even though roles can be reversed during sexual acts. It’s true that some go to greater levels of control, but in general, most subs are in control. The fact is, submissives are not weak or insecure in any form, but merely get off on giving over their control for a chance to experience greater heights of ecstasy in their private lives. No one should ever feel dominated unwillingly, and if it comes to that level the relationship can become unhealthy.

Better Trust and Communication with Dom/Sub Play

Anyone in the lifestyle understands the importance of trust and communication. It’s basically a necessity for those who make the choice to enter into swinging and especially in BDSM relationships. Submissives still need to be heard, loved and feel confident in their Dom. Subs must communicate with their partners willingly which builds greater trust between them that can be more powerful than a traditional relationship.

Getting Your Needs Met in the Lifestyle

When someone signs up for a submissive type of relationship, it might seem that they are putting another’s needs before their own. However, if a dominant partner is giving you what you need, it becomes a mutual relationship. Subs often find their pleasure escalated when they’re striving to be obedient, so it’s kind of like getting the best of both worlds. That being said, some couples prefer to role swap in BDSM play and allow their partner to become the shot caller when the mood strikes.

The Inciting Feeling of Power Exchanges

Submissives are often busy people with full time jobs, families and outside responsibilities. Sometimes it feels relieving to not have to be in control all the time, especially in the bedroom. Giving a partner power for a while doesn’t have to be all about sex, but more often than not it leads into this territory. However it’s agreed upon by participants, it’s essential to be on the same page and in tune with one another about how far the power exchange role will go and determine a duration unless you plan on being a full on sub.

Choosing What’s Right for Your Relationship

Just because it’s sexually exciting, these types of relationships are not typically all wine and roses, as problems can arise if communications and agreements aren’t respected. However, those who love dom/sub play can make it work as long as there is respect and guidelines in place.

Submissive

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