What Do Thanksgiving & Swinger Wives Have In Common?
So, what do swinger wives and Thanksgiving have in common? Well they both liked to get stuffed like a turkey. I always get sentimental on the holidays, thankful for you, I have my dirty take on it. When I think of most things, I try and see things as there is a funny side to every situation and the challenge is to find it.
I like Thanksgiving because food and sex go hand in hand, but I notice around the holidays people stay away from social sites even swinger sites to focus on family, which is totally cool. I heard this one guy say, hey if an egg can fit in there why can’t I? Gross for sure but people say weird things.
Back to sex and food going hand in hand, I like Thanksgiving, because you can get away with saying things like Hatcher’s top 10 favorites listed below.
10. “Talk about a huge breast!”
9. “It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?”
8. “Don’t play with your meat.”
7. “Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.”
6. “I didn’t expect everyone to come at once!”
5. “You still have a little bit on your chin.”
4. “How long will it take after you stick it in?”
3. “You’ll know it’s ready when it pops up.”
2. “That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen!”
1. “How long do I beat it before it’s ready?”
Here is a picture of my famous Mike Hatchers Mashed potatoes. Let me know if you need the recipe it is a sight to see!
If any reader knows me, they know I have an asian tattoo and have a martial arts background. I kind of do a different Thanksgiving dinner approach, yeah i will have a Turkey that I will stuff (with food) and I also offer turkey friend rice. Now since I like to have rice and sex for breakfast, I will invite my swinger friends over and my favorite little asian girlfriend and get a buffet going. Yes she is usually stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey, but damn she is the sexiest woman to eat off of. I included a pic of her in case you guys and gals would like to see. Let me know if you want the recipe for this sushi turkey holiday dish.
Ahh, this is why I love Thanksgiving, It reminds me of a joke my Aunt played on my uncle, true story. Uncle Bob and Aunt Wendy have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Wendy says, “One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!”
One Thanksgiving morning, Wendy’s preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before Bob gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards and guts in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself.
Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Wendy laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.
She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says, “You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again.”
Bob is also the father of my cousin who got the cat stuck up his ass. If you want to hear that one you need to read Swingers: Generation X and scroll down to the bottom. Trust me you will laugh. On a serious note, please be safe this Holiday season, and watch the alcohol intake. Hatcher Out !
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