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Jealousy & the LifeStyle

Jealousy & the Lifestyle

Bringing another sexual partner into your relationship can be fun, but jealousy can and does rear its ugly head for many couples. A lot of swingers feel uncomfortable with the idea of bringing another person into their bedroom, at least in the beginning of this new sexual experimentation. It’s natural to have twinges of jealousy when your partner (whether just sexual or something more serious) has sex with someone else. What initially seems like a big turn on, can manifest into other feelings, but there are ways that you can combat these feelings to make it an enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Communicate with your partner

It’s important that you talk through your jealousy with your partner. If you are feeling the effects of jealousy, after sharing with somebody else, bring it to your partner’s attention. Discuss ways you can manage your jealousy and reassure your partner how much you love them and only them. Sex is different from love, so it’s important that they know where your heart lies. If your partner is just a casual one, this might not apply but just be gentle with them because they likely have some sort of territorial feelings about you. Make sure in future, that your partner is completely happy before you have a threesome – what they are feeling could be completely normal but if the jealousy runs too deep, perhaps the swinging lifestyle isn’t what you relationship needs or will withstand.

Setting boundaries for future encounters

It’s so important that there are boundaries in regards to threesomes, this way it doesn’t affect the special relationship that you have with your partner. Allowing your partner to have sex with another person and doing things that you do together to create intimacy, is where things can really go wrong. Perhaps the boundary that you put into place could be “no kissing the other person on the lips” or “no after-sex cuddles”. Whatever you decide, knowing that there are boundaries means there is less likely to be jealousy and complications in regards to the arrangement.


Threesomes are fun, exciting and sexy but they are definitely not for everyone. Some people are more emotional than others and threesomes can make them jealous and possessive. There are certain things that you can do to help ease your partner’s jealousy and remembering that something as simple as reassuring words go a long way. There are also boundaries that you can discuss, if you do want to continue participating in the swinging lifestyle as a couple.