If you’re looking to explore a swingers lifestyle, or you’re new to swinging, you may be in the boundary-setting phase. This is an important phase where you and your partner set boundaries while swinging. Kissing is usually one of the boundaries that you may have to consider. While many swinging couples do allow kissing, many others decide to opt out.

Here are four facts about kissing that may be the reason so many people opt out. 

Kissing Can Be a Way to Express Affection

Kissing has long been a way to show or express affection. However, unlike other forms of affection, such as hugging your loved one or stroking their back, kissing may be one of the stronger forms of feeling affection. This is because there are a huge number of receptors in the lips that pick up sensations. This makes this one of the most sensitive areas of the body, a part that some couples prefer to reserve for their partner alone. 

Kissing Can Strengthen a Couple’s Bond

Another reason why some people who live a swingers lifestyle opt-out of kissing while swinging is because kissing can strengthen a couple’s bond. Kissing isn’t always about intimacy. In many cases, it is a way to strengthen a bond between people. When couples are casually swinging, they may not necessarily want to strengthen or reinforce those bonds. It may be solely about sex, passion and/or fun, rather than bonding and strengthening emotional ties. As such, play partners may add no kissing as a boundary. 

Kissing is Reserved for Love 

Julia Roberts starred in the movie, Pretty Woman. In the film, she stated that kissing was reserved for love, and as such, she doesn’t kiss the people she is intimate with, only the people she loves. Since that movie, many people have made the connection that kissing equals love and should be reserved for those you care about or are in love with. As such, many individuals, particularly females, have adapted this approach and have asked their partners not to kiss others while swinging. 

Kissing Creates Attachment Sensations

When you kiss someone, dopamine, norepinephrine and oxytocin start swirling through your body. This creates a feeling of lust and can lead to attachment sensations. Many people, particularly those who may be more on the jealous side, prefer their partners not kiss others and kick up these hormones that can increase that sense of attachment with someone else. 

Setting boundaries is important for many swinger couples. It’s important to discuss all forms of affection and intimacy before play to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. This sometimes include kissing. Only you and your partner can decide if keeping kissing between yourselves or kissing others is right for your relationship.

If you are on the fence about whether you and your partner should kiss others, weigh the pros and cons or start out slow. If you feel jealous seeing your partner kissing someone else, discuss the discomfort with your partner and update playtime boundaries. Swinging can be fun and enjoyable when all parties feel safe, secure and have their boundaries respected. 

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